By guest writer Chloe French
Dearest &tost enthusiasts,
Is it just me, or does everyone seem to have a collection of their ex’s belongings lurking in the back of their drawers? Don’t worry, you’re not alone. From the occasional sentimental piece to the mysterious missing sock, we all seem to accumulate these sartorial souvenirs. But let’s be honest, losing your favorite shirt to the ex-beau? Not cool, past lovers, not cool. After recently discussing this topic with some friends, I realized the next &tost article had to be this: what to do with your ex-situationship’s clothing.
So, how do you master the art of the undetectable wardrobe raid?
Reuse, Reduce, Recycle: Stuck with their old band tee? Ingeniously transform it into a chic DIY tote bag. Pro tip: deny, deny, deny if confronted about where the fabric came from. Bonus points if you “accidentally” embroider their initials on it.
Layering: No one says you have to give it away... just don’t be obvious about it! Revealing that you have their clothes means facing the inevitable “can I have it back?” text. Instead, style the piece by covering it up. How would they know you’re sporting their favorite long sleeve if you wear it under something else?
The Subtle Steal: Longing for that one pair of jeans they have? Next time you “accidentally” bump into them at the bar, leave their place with them in the morning.
The Charity Charade: Feeling guilty or just don’t like the constant reminder of how much they sucked? Donate your ex’s clothes to charity. It’s a win-win - you declutter and it could help someone else! Turn your tragedy into a positive contribution.
Security Deposit: The only way to get your favorite piece back is to give theirs back, too. So, holding their beloved Levi's 550s can be a powerful bargaining chip to reclaim your cashmere cardigan back.
Remember, dear readers, this is all in good fun. I do not advocate for thievery, but hey, a little harmless exploration of our post-relationship closet expansion never hurt anyone, right? While we poke fun at our post-relationship attachment to clothes, let’s keep it respectful. After all, sometimes the best way to deal with an ex’s clothes is to let them go (or, perhaps, turn it into a hot new upcycle.) Kidding, kidding. Please do not attempt any of these tips in real life as they may lead to awkward encounters, or even legal repercussions. Respect their wishes and let go of the clothes (and maybe the emotional baggage too). Now go forth and conquer your closet... responsibly.
@ch1oefrench
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